Shayna Kramb
Bio Essay
11/03/2011
ENG 217
I clearly remember the day I decided to eat again. Two months had gone by and I was finally feeling thin enough. It was my sixteenth birthday and my family would be taking me out to dinner. I would not be able to avoid eating or sneak away to throw up this time. It was the perfect time to put my eating disorder aside. At least I thought it would be that easy.
During childhood I was a tad overweight. I was reminded every time I saw my dad and step-mom. I got comments such as,” Why are you eating again?” and “You're getting chubby.” Once I got to sixth grade I got a few inches taller and really thinned out. All I heard was,” You look so good” as well as “We knew you would thin out when you got taller.” It also did not help that my older brother teased me relentlessly about being fat.
Sophomore year I gained a little bit of weight and completely lost it. I could not let myself get fat. So I did the quickest thing I knew how to lose a lot of weight; I stopped eating. I promised myself I would only do it until I had lost enough weight.
The next two months were surprisingly easy. After a few days I did not think about wanting food. My mom worked two jobs, so it took her awhile to catch on. I would tell her my stomach hurt to get out of dinner. Once in awhile I would eat something small and than head to the bathroom and lock the door. I also did one thousand crunches a day and jogged in place in my room every free chance I got.
I stayed thin for awhile with no problems, but after my first two years in college and different medications that caused weight gain, I had put on ten pounds! I was the heaviest I had ever been. I began working out ten hours a week and eating very healthy. I lost all the weight in three months and looked my best ever.
Ever since I found out I had the to be what I wanted, I have been obsessed with staying lean. I am constantly concerned with how I look and upset with myself if I slack off and do not get to the gym.
My eating disorder was seven years ago and it still follows me around today. Every morning when I am getting dressed I have to look at myself in the mirror. I compare my stomach to the day/week/month before and I am usually disappointed. Although I know I am not fat, in my eyes, I will never be skinny enough.
Just because I have gone through something negative and am unsure if I will ever get out of my own mind, I hope to use this situation to do something good. I want to start an organization that teaches young girls to stay active and eat healthy rather than having image issues. Hopefully one day I can road block a lifelong battle for another girl,before it starts.
