Wednesday, March 26, 2014

an unbelievably long time

   I haven't written in an unbelievably long time, but looking through my old book makes me want to write again... a broken heart usually has that effect too....

  I honestly thought when I met you that this was it, I'd never have to hurt another day in my life, that I'd found 'the one'. My meaning for existence finally seemed to make sense. Yet somehow, here I am again. Wondering why I let myself care so much and if I ask too much from those I care about.  
   Will it ever add up for me? Is it too risky to put myself out there again? Will I ever heal from this love? Do I want to....
   I found this page that I'd wrote a few months after we'd met, although strangely enough I didn't date it.... I always date my scribblings.... So here it was, and I'm sure you can expect me to start writing again. You know what they say, you're most inspired when you're down and out.

The only times I've ever gotten upset with you were out of fear of abandonment. I love you so much that I'm always terrified to lose you.
How do you describe perfection? It's like you are a part of me. I already know how you're going to feel about something, because it's the same way that I'm feeling. The bible suddenly makes sense when it says that I am created from your rib bone; except when he was separating us he got bored and decided to see how far he could throw-and I ended up in Arizona.
Everything about us just fits and finds a way. For some reason beyond me you have found my trust.
Your constantly doing the things you "should" do, but most guys don't.
You don't mind doing things that make me happy, not because you're trying to earn brownie pts, but because you love it when I'm happy.
I cherish you.

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